Thursday, April 08, 2010

Dear Kate,

10!!!   Double Digits Baby!  Wowzers that went by in a flash! You are so special to me for soooo many reasons. You are my oldest and that means you were my first. What an amazing experience it was to bring you into this world and to be able to watch you grow these past ten years. Giving birth to you was one of the most amazing moments of my life and I will never forget it. You were so, so, so tiny: 5lbs 6oz. My brain can't comprehend how tiny that is anymore. I just know that someone told me your head was about the size of a grapefruit. Maybe it was and maybe it wasn't the size of a grapefruit.  It didn't matter. You were perfect to me and you still are. I love you and am looking forward to all the years ahead!

Monday, March 08, 2010

Dear Spring,

When will you be here? I am ready. I am sick of looking at the inside of my house. I am ready to dig in the dirt. I am ready to get some sun. Please hurry. I miss you.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

To The American Academy of Pediatrics,

Warning labels on food for choking? You're kidding right?
When I read this article about choking and food labels, I knew it would be perfect for Free Rangers!
The conclusion that I have come to is that you, the American Academy of Pediatrics, must think parents are morons.
I admit I have seen some parents who would certainly fit the bill but most of us out there are not morons. I marvel at the advances in science and medicine, modern technology and the fact that we can shoot human beings into space. But now we are being told we need food companies labeling certain items that may be a choking hazard? Please.
Isn’t anything you put in your mouth, or in this case your child’s mouth, a choking hazard? It seems we live in a society where someone or something is always to blame when accidents do happen. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure is one of my favorite sayings but no matter how hard you try, some things just can’t be prevented. I think we just need to chill out a little.
Almost two years ago a friend from my hometown lost her
baby (she was almost two) to a choking accident. The baby was eating a very small piece of cut up apple (without the peel) and she choked and died a short time later. The Mothers grief was painful to say the least. I have cried as I’ve read her struggles and feelings on her blog. Did she start a campaign to ban apples or have them labeled as dangerous? No. She turned something that was very tragic into something positive by starting a website and support group to help other mothers and families who have lost a child regardless of the circumstances. I admire her for her courage and honesty.
My point to this story is that sometimes no matter how careful and cautious you are as a parent, accidents do happen and they are just that: accidents.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Dear Lady at

 Thank you for this. I loved it so much I am reposting it on my blog. I hope that is o k . I am not taking credit for any of what you wrote because I  think you did it perfectly and how can I improve upon perfection? I do hope someone reads this. 



OHNOES i’ve been squandering my “sex favor” cards!

Happily married!The day after Christmas a friend posted an article on her Facebook profile*, entitled "Men Who Help Clean Get More Sex", from It's a subject I've seen many times online - another study that reports, in effect, that a relationship with a more egalitarian share of household responsibilities often enjoys more sex (although this study in particular - link below - seems to be talking specifically about high-energy couples - high-energy in work together and in sexual activity).
The way this relatively lightweight Limelife piece presents the information is typical of the many articles I've seen on the topic (and that you will see if you do a simple Google search). It contains the following assumptions and implicit assertions:
1. In a heterosexually-partnered relationship, housework is a woman's responsibility. A man can choose to "help" if he wishes.
2. Sex isn't a mutual act: men are the pursuant party and women the pursued (or withholding). It makes sense for men to use "brownie points" to get sex, because:
3. Women don't want sex for sex's sake. It's something they dole out as a reward; or, to use the headline, something men "get" out of their women if they play their cards right.
4. Women find the sight of their male partner doing housework a "turn on" in and of itself - as opposed to male partners doing their share of housework being an element of a healthier relationship that helps heterosexual women stay happier, healthier, and sexually vigorous.
Several studies from diverse sources show that as a group heterosexually-partnered males do half of the work in the home that women do, regardless of paid or outside employment. In my own observances, well - let's just say by example one of the many myriad and minor reasons I left Facebook were the handful of female acquaintances who'd post status messages like, "My husband is doing the dishes! I am the LUCKIEST LADY ALIVE!" without a trace of irony. As far as amorous relations, I don't have much of a window into my friends' sex lives - and they don't have much into mine. But I do know a dismaying number of married-to-men women who heap all kinds of grateful praise and "rescuing" on their partner for considerably less effort and performance than they, as females, perform daily, day in, day out, over and over.
This hits home, too. My own husband is often the recipient of a glorified pedestaling for the kind of work I regularly do without much comment from outside parties; he has countless times been called "Superdad" for - I kid you not - taking care of his own kids and sometimes other people's. And just so you know - in case you, dear reader are childfree and/or unaware - women do stuff like arrange playdates and take care of kids All. The. Time.** I'll let my husband speak for himself more eloquently on his oft-prescribed moniker of "Superdad!" but suffice to say: he finds it demeaning and insulting to himself, and unfair to his wife.
Obviously, in any individual relationship there are mitigating factors, and my intention here is not to personally weigh in on any particular couple or couple's habits. For instance: perhaps in the case of the abovementioned Facebook status the husband had done a bunch of OTHER awesome stuff earlier in the day. However, taken as a sum the truth is: we expect less out of our men and they are only too happy to deliver (or, as I like to more charitably believe, won't decide to deliver unless we educate them on the necessity that they do so).
The sad thing is, ultimately, all this seems to point to a cultural devaluation of heterosexually-partnered women's health and happiness. Concomitant to this (not-very) mind-blowing concept that dudes should maybe pick it up at home I saw recently, on a web medical information site, an absolute glut of queries regarding a low sex-drive in women and wives - and many, many medications, remedies, and long lists of nutritional do's and don'ts to "fix" the problem. I'm left wondering: do the mojo-draining twin forces of overwork and deep resentment perhaps have anything at all to do with women's libido and desire? Naaaah. Let's keep to that whole, "What do women want? Ah, who knows! Let's give 'em a pill to get 'em horny for us." It's just easier that way.
As for me? I actually do have a husband who does his share. But that doesn't mean he doesn't need reminders and re-education because, yeah, there is a right way to put away the dishes, bro. In fact, in our case - with one partner working at home and the other in paid employment - he's at a bit of a disadvantage when he comes home and is thrust into the house ins and outs. But he knows it's his job to do figure it out and do his share, and so do I. He's a really, really fabulous guy (he's also great in the sack, so I guess - bonus?), and I'm grateful to have such a partner. But I think I'm pretty cool too; I've been doing the hard, hard work of casting off the expectation I should do most (if not all) of the work en casa, and expect very little of - or be inordinately grateful for - his "help".
* I don't actually have a Facebook account, but I sometimes check my husband's.
** Another thing people do? A lot? When a father of an infant is taking care of his own child, they call it "babysitting" (as opposed to, you know, parenting).

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

To The City of Midvale,

It seems that I am not going to be able to get on with my day until I have made written this.
I have a bee in my bonnet. A really big bee. What is up with your police officers? I am sure that they are only following orders when they pull everyone over under the sun for what seems like the lamest of "violations" but come on! Go solve some crime already! Why do I never see a patrol car in my neighborhood just "patrolling"? Go find the person or persons who stole my neighbors brand new lawn mower. Go find whoever it was that broke my stereo in my car and stole all of my awesome cds. What about the neighbors on the corner? I'm sure you're aware that one of their cars was stolen last year and the car was eventually found but did you find out who did it? I doubt it.  Maybe if you weren't so busy pulling everyone over, a portion if not all of these crimes could be prevented.  Don't even get me started on the houses that have been burglarized around here! Again, why do I never see any cops except the ones who are hiding over by the cemetery, hiding by the burger joint on state street and various other places just waiting to pull people over. Don't get me wrong, if someone is driving recklessly or is somehow endangering the lives of innocent people around them then by all means, go get them! But really? Pulling someone over for going five freakin' miles over the speed limit or something else ridiculous?
Was that $130 ticket really necessary? I turned right on a red light. Their is no sign there that says I can't turn on a red light. I looked. No sign. A warrant for my arrest because I have not paid the fine? Give me a break! You are aware, stupid Midvale City, that we are in the middle of a recession? Maybe I have not paid the fine because I do not have an extra $130 laying around for stupid traffic tickets and I especially don't have  the extra $290 that you want because I have not paid the $130! So you want $420 of my hard earned money? I don't think so. We own our home and pay our property taxes every year. I am vigilant about keeping an "eye" on my neighborhood and surrounding areas for anything suspicious. We, along with all my neighbors, keep our yards looking pretty darn nice compared to some other parts of this city. I even hosted the Neighborhood Block Party last year as part of Harvest Days! Thanks for showing up by the way. We REALLY appreciate it. (I say those last two sentences with an abundance of sarcasm because no one from the City bothered to show up)
I will see you in court in April. I will have pictures of that intersection with me. I am sure the bee will still be in my bonnet. I don't back down easily so get ready for a fight.
                                                 WITH A BEE IN MY BONNET

Thursday, February 04, 2010

Dear Dental Hygenist,

*Dental hygiene--I'm sure some people think those are the instruments I use*

I'm sure you thought you were being oh so gentle when you scraped my teeth with that deadly looking metal tool. I'm sure you thought that I am weird because I told you not to use that nifty little tool that sucks the drool out of my mouth and not to put any cold water in my mouth because I am super sensitive to cold and it quite literally would cause me to jump out of the chair. My mouth feels like it was in a terrible fight and lost. My gums hurt from your "gentle" flossing and are swollen in some areas. Good grief. Its no wonder I have put off going for a checkup for so long. I feel like its some sort of punishment. Thank-you for the nice compliment however about how white my teeth are and how healthy they look. I plan on keeping them forever. You are so lucky to work for Dr. Clark. He is so nice and always goes out of his way to get to know his patients. I'm sure he is just as gracious to his staff. Next time I come in, please try to be a little more gentle. I admit it: I am a big fat baby when it comes to people poking around in my mouth with sharp objects. See you in August. I'm sure you are really looking forward to it.


Dear Parents,

You don't know what YTD is? How shameful.
Let me help you: Youth Tendency Disorder. The horror. The absolute horror that our youth should behave in such a well, youthful way. Isn't that what they are supposed to do? 
Need a good laugh? 
Want to read all about it? 
Go here
You won't be disappointed. At least I hope not.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Dear Family,



I love you dearly