Guilt Freak
I write to space. That is what I like to think every time I post on my little blog. Right now my head is full of amassed bits of this and that, to do lists, didn't get done lists, birthdays, baptisms, craft shows I need to get ready for, a broken refrigerator, a dusty basement, selling my Subaru, my unplanted garden, my neglected Sunday School lesson, having a baby, changing the sheets. I seriously could go on. Somehow over the course of my marriage I have turned into a guilt freak. I'm not sure how or why this has happened. Is it because I am a wife and Mother now and have a greater responsibility on my shoulders? I can tell you right now that before I got married and had kids I did not really feel guilty about anything! Even the stuff I should have felt guilty for! I don't think I feel guilty about not feeling guilty back then but I really can't be sure at this point. My guilt ranges from me not being a better example and role model for my daughters to more trivial things like needing to rotate the tires on my car or feeling bad about throwing something in the garbage that I know darn well should have gone into the recycle bin. Lame! Retarded! Who freakin' cares! Yet I cannot convince myself that my guilt is lame, retarded and nobody cares. I just ride each day out with the hope that the things I didn't get done today will maybe get done tomorrow and hopefully the guilt will ease up a bit. So far that has not been the case. Oh well.
That Sunday School lesson awaits as does the Island Princess Barbie birthday cake my 3 year old wants for her party tomorrow.
Please press the pressure valve
It's going to blow up.
An awful mess it will be for sure
Who will clean it up?
Please press the pressure valve
Time is marching on.
It must be done ever so slow
Released and done.
15 comments:
Rochelle...
I just received my first order from bellakate...thanks!! I am Sarah Nitta's sister in law...in case the HALEY last name didn't make the connection.
Hope you don't mind me visiting your blog...it is very fun to read.
I'm sure I'll be ordering more clips in the future, they are beautiful!
I don't wonder why my work speaks to you - same, same same! I have guilt moments frequently! Best thing to do is write a poem about it, for sure.
Roch, I love you! It is so fun to read what you write because I can hear you thru your words. . .does that make sense? Stop feeling guilty, it's a bit much!
Oh yeah, what kind of cake are you going to make? And what lesson are you preparing for? Did I just add more stress? Do you feel more guilt now?
I hear you! Just do the best you can and that's enough!
ummm...did you just take the words RIGHT out of my mouth and post them on your blog??? girlfriend, i connected with every single thing you just said. in fact, i have been having the same inner war with myself especially today. isn't it sad and depressing and retarded to be us?
hey, how are you anyway? guilt aside. :)
The pressure.....it never seems to end. But that's why there's alwys tomorrow, right? Just give up, that's what Kurt always says. HA!
Don't feel guilty. We will never get everything done in a day that we want to. I have a million things to do, but I am sitting at my computer!!! Holy cow with the rose bush. I know you love yard work, but take it easy, woman! Cute blog. Thanks for sending it. Mine is just begining, so there is not much on it. See ya!
That anonymous comment was me. Sorry. Figured it out!!!
I married Matt...10.5 years ago!
I love your posts! I think we think alike!
Rochelle,
I think you stress more than you need to. You are a great mom. I love coming to visit and see how amazing you are. Enjoy the time with your girls before they don't want you around. Love ya.
Did you use the words "having a baby in there?" Is that just a thought or are you? Anyway, I think you are doing fine. Let the guilt just float away...float away. OK- I'm dumb.
Meridee-
I love that you can hear me! Would that be like I am sitting next to you yakking away?
The cake never got made. I left my house at 9pm friday night and ended up buying a generic cake but the b-day girl was happy none the less.
As for the lesson...me and Ty team teach in sunday school to the 14,15,16, and 17 year olds in our ward. To make me even more nervous, all the boys who are getting ready to leave on missions come to our class also. So far it has been the hardest calling I personally have had. But I am learning and rolling with the punches....
I am still stressed but now it is about Kate's baptism and all the family we have coming and company at my house....blah blah blah
That would be a stressful calling for me, but it's probably nice having Ty with you. Has he stopped working out of town?
As for the cake-who cares right? It all ends up in the right place, eh?
Good luck with the baptism events.
did you say having a baby?
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